Greenspan to announce 2 for 1 split on the Dollar

Just when you thought Greenspan was running out of bullets, the Maestro of Monopoly Money strikes again. At 2:15 Tuesday afternoon, June 22nd, Alan Greenspan is scheduled to announce that every dollar printed in these United States of America will henceforth be worth two New and Improved US dollars. Modeled after the unvieling of the new Coca Cola product, Coke 2, these new dollars are expected to have twice the paper with only have as many calories, or in this case, real value.

Behind the scenes the Maestro has been heard to observe that he understands the utter futility of this sort of silliness, but he is hoping that ignorance on the part of masses will propel many consumers to feel twice as wealthy as they were on Monday. Alan understands that not everyone is going to buy into his Grand Charade, but with the help of the Media, he is certain that any voices of reason will be drowned out by the crys of jubilation from the "Newly Rich".